Exploring the Effects of Physical, Sexual and Emotional Abuse for Men

RECOVERY IS A TWO FOLD PROCESS in this case. The first step is healing from the traumas done to us in our past, and the second step is healing from the influence these past experiences continue to have on our present.

Characteristics of Someone Struggling with the Effects of Physical, Sexual, and/or Emotional Abuse may include, but are not limited to:

• Are hesitant to identify themselves as victims of abuse
• Feel isolated, depressed, worthless, and helpless to change
• Are struggling with feelings about God in relation to their life experiences of abuse
• Condemn themselves, denying the past abuse affects their present circumstances
• Feel out of control and defeated in areas of compulsive behavior
• Feel angry, bitter, and rebellious; have trouble with authority figures
• Feel a lack of self-worth and low self-esteem.
• Are preoccupied with thoughts of what it means to have a “normal” relationship with others: mates, friends, family.
• Question their own sexual identity and may experience confusion regarding their own sexuality
• Desire to regain their sexuality and feel safe in intimate relationships
• Question self-reality: “Who am I?”
• Question whether life has a purpose
• Feel “at home” in crisis situations
• Struggle with perfectionism or “all or nothing thinking”
• Desire to have victory through Christ over the life experience of abuse

How We Find Recovery

Through a relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior and Higher Power, and by working through the 8 recovery principles and the Christ-centered 12 steps, we can find freedom from our hurts, hang ups and habits.

Characteristics of Someone in Recovery From Physical, Sexual, And/Or Emotional Abuse May Include, but Are Not Limited To:

• We recognize that we are powerless to heal the damaged emotions resulting from our abuse. We look to God for the power to make us whole.
• We understand that safety is a high priority and will remove ourselves from any unsafe
• We come to believe that we matter to God and He loves us as His
• We admit that God’s plan for our lives includes victory over the experience of
• We understand that the abuse committed against us is not our fault. We are NOT
• We understand that the people who abused us are responsible for the abusive acts committed against us. We will not accept the guilt and shame resulting from those abusive
• We look to God and His Word to find our identity as worthwhile and loved human
• We learn that the emotions we are feeling are very real and need to be acknowledged.
• We learn how to organize our emotions by first noticing them, honoring them, organizing them, and sharing them with God and at least one other
• We don’t accept responsibility for the abuse itself but do accept the responsibility for our responses to the
• We are wiling to accept God’s help in the decision and the process of forgiving ourselves and those who have perpetrated against
• We come to understand that releasing our offender to God allows us to move forward toward the healing
• We come to understand that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with my
• We are willing to mature in our relationships with God and others.
• We come to believe that God won’t waste the hurt in our
• In our recovery, we become willing to be used by God to bring hope to others with similar

Small Group Guidelines

1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Please limit your sharing to three to five minutes.
2. There is NO cross-talk please. Cross-talk is when two people engage in a dialogue during the meeting. Each person sharing is free to express feelings without interruptions.
3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to “fix” one another.
4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.
5. Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.

Accountability Team Phone Numbers

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Accountability Partners

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