Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Thirteen celebrations away from our (second) goal in this project – that’s how we sauntered into an overcast Tuesday. We can reach out and taste that achievement, but what does it really mean? Not a thing. This party will keep rocking until last call, and last call will sound when the bread hits the wall on New Year’s Eve. That sounds like a catchy colloquialism but as folks who have been around since the beginning will note, it is not. I remain tethered to my home-office all day every day; what else can I do to maintain my sanity but celebrate? Or is this what is eroding my sanity? I suppose if I can’t tell anymore that’s probably not a good thing. Or is it? So many questions, so few words left in this paragraph to answer them. Let’s skip to the yesterday stuff:

Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day

I’ve got to admit, this one had me a bit stumped. My beloved auntie pointed out on social media that I have a talent for writing, but I can’t make a claim to being a brilliant writer. Even if I was – which I am not – that isn’t a unique talent.

Jodie has a tremendous talent for guiding and mentoring kids, teaching them boring crap like grammar and good speling, while at the same time fostering the growth of their spirits and dreams. She’s not the only teacher in the world who can do this, but they are a rare bunch, and I’d argue that each great teacher’s approach to their greatness is unique to who they are. So yes, Jodie has a unique talent and I will absolutely celebrate that.

I have a unique talent for creating weird and immersive writing projects that occupy way too much of my time and appeal to a remarkably small and specific crowd. That’s not the worst unique talent on the planet, but it doesn’t bring in the big bucks either. Or the big rewards, in any way other than personal fulfillment. So to that end, what comes next? I ran a nearly three-year project between 2012 and 2014, and soon I’ll be wrapping up a year-long seemingly-counterintuitive celebration project.

The short answer: I’m not sure yet. It won’t be a big novel, or a plain ol’ non-fiction book. Nor will it be an endeavour that forces me to dedicate at least two hours of every single day to the task. But it will be somewhere in between, and I suspect it might have something to do with local history, one of my lesser (but still present) passions. Mostly I’m looking forward to having the time to contemplate a next project. That will be something to celebrate.

Brownielocks Day

According to the official website for this celebration – which is Comic Sans heavy, looks like it was designed to appear on a geocities page back in the late 90s, and is probably otherwise absolutely definitive – this is the day to celebrate folks with brown hair.

I don’t believe brunettes are discriminated against, or that anyone is out there proclaiming they aren’t attractive.

My wife is a brunette. She’s attractive. I don’t think she’s proud of her brown hair, because why would she be? She did nothing to achieve that hair. Actually, her hairstylist might disagree with me on that one…

In the end, there’s really not much to celebrate here, except to remind brunettes that they can have more fun than blondes, and that they even have their own special day. We’ve had a day for redheads, and while I don’t think we’ve had a blonde (or black hair) celebration, we have even had a Bald is Beautiful day. I don’t think I celebrated that one because I couldn’t talk Jodie into shaving her head. But maybe next year.

National Family Week

Canadians may be baffled by this one, but I must remind you all that it is Thanksgiving week, when most Americans are forced to put up with their families for the duration of at least a dinner, sometimes a full weekend. It’s a tough time for many. Covid will keep a lot of families from gathering, and politics will keep a lot more from having an enjoyable feast. This isn’t new.

I propose – and I have yet to be tapped to make any proclamations for how Americans behave, but it could happen – that people take advantage of this pandemic situation and avoid any and all family members they don’t want to see this year. You’ll never have an easier excuse! Just fake the sniffles! No one will want you around, except for your most wack-job Covid deniers. And chances are if you have to put up with people like that in your family gatherings you’ve already got a few good excuses brewed up to deal with them.

For us, we are celebrating family by prepping for a Christmas season that will bring ours together. In this era of lockdowns we are, of course, avoiding large gatherings. But our son and daughter (and son’s girlfriend) are all coming to stay, and on Monday night we picked up a new bed so we’ll have room for everyone. We have a colorful and interesting family, and we wish we could see… well, most of them this year. But we will make do with celebrating our more immediate family members, and sticking to pandemic protocols to have a glorious holiday.

One with no racist older relatives mucking everything up.

Peanut Butter Lovers Month

We have celebrated peanut butter at least four or five times this year. I’ve looked into the history of peanut butter, paired it with jelly, downed more than my share of Reese cups (actually no, I think my share should include several more this year), and constantly praised the life-giving properties of everyone’s favourite spread.

So once more, just for fun, here we go. I have been enjoying PB&J as my standard go-to effort-free lunch for a large part of this year. I have proven myself to be a profound lover of creamy, peanuty goodness. And that hasn’t changed. I even crammed some into a toy for Liberty to feast upon for a while yesterday, because that’s the kind of party that happens around here on a regular basis.

The fun never stops. And peanut butter absolutely rocks.

And our countdown to 2,000 reaches 9 going into today. How many of the items below will we cross off our list?:

  • Tie One On Day. Unfortunately this is not a day to go out and get drunk. We’re supposed to bake something, then “tie one” ribbon “on” to those baked goods and deliver them to someone.
  • National Jukebox Day. I (sort of) own one of these!
  • National Parfait Day. I guess it’s up to us if we want a healthy yogurt and fresh fruit parfait, or a Peanut Buster Parfait today.
  • National Blasé Day. Meh.
  • Shopping Reminder Day. If you don’t have a Christmas shopping list made up yet, this is the day to do it.
  • Blackout Wednesday. This one actually is about getting drunk. Neat.
  • What Do You Love About America Day. I’m going to start by saying their single “Ventura Highway” contains some of the greatest acoustic guitar work of its time.