Thursday, September 24, 2020

It appears I can add gravity to the list of institutions that are turning against me in 2020. I was carrying an empty plate and bowl downstairs on Tuesday afternoon when gravity felt I should take a more interesting route to the floor. That has left me with either a broken or deeply disturbed pinkie toe, and a bulldog who keeps attacking my crutch. It has been an interesting series of events, and it didn’t leave me in an overly celebratory mood yesterday. Fortunately, we’re ahead of our target so we’re okay if we keep things light:

Innergize Day

It’s to ‘energize’ your ‘innards’. Get it? Very cute.

Laughably obvious puns aside, this is a day we’re supposed to set aside to shift gears from the fast-paced days of summer. Which is a little weird, because August is supposed to be the ‘lazy, hazy days’ of summer, and I don’t think anyone finds their September to be particularly overflowing with summer activity. How many waterparks have you been to this month?

So we’re supposed to let stress flow out our pores and allow ourselves to be steered to a higher plane of peace and tranquility. We’re supposed to meditate. To rest. To dance around the house, which is ill-advised with a broken-ass toe. I suppose I embraced that by remaining as stationary as possible yesterday. But it was also a work day, so I had to take care of that.

And you know what would really give my innards a boost? Not having to celebrate for a day. I’ve nudged my honesty back from the front lines as much as possible, but I’m told it’s still seeping through that I’m rather displeased with this project. We have found our most exciting celebrations sidelined by the virus, and this has simply become an expression of what we’ve eaten and what I’ve researched to write about. The inherent fun is hard to find. Or perhaps I’m just venting.

Well, maybe venting will innergize me.

National Teal Talk Day

On September 4 we wore teal in order to express our solidarity in raising awareness for ovarian cancer. It’s also National Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. So why is there another day for the same colour, for the same cause? Is it solely because it’s a really important cause?

Yes, to both. Almost a quarter-million women are diagnosed with this horrific disease every year, and as we discussed a few weeks ago it’s a particularly insidious disease. Most women who are diagnosed are already in stage 3 or 4 because the early symptoms of this particular brand of cancer are relatively mild and will often get diagnosed as something else. So what’s the answer? Get a biopsy every time you get a tummy-ache? Probably not, but if you’ve got a run of minor arbitrary symptoms you may want to ask your doctor if it’s worth looking into.

So take good care of yourselves. Stay in tune with your body. And be careful walking down stairs – I can’t stress that enough.

National Temperature Control Day

It’s the day after the autumnal equinox, which not only means we’re supposed to “gear down” from our super-busy summer (which it wasn’t for anyone), but we’re also supposed to acknowledge it’s going to get colder. So today is the day we look at our household thermostat and remember how it works, and that we are the guardians over the dominion of degrees Celsius one permits into their domicile.

So we can control the temperature. And we did, by tweaking the thermostat just a little. We’re not exactly in what Edmontonians call “the shit” yet (meaning winter weather), but it’s good to be reminded that we aren’t slaves to the bitter winds outdoors. I guess. I mean, who forgets that?

Celebrate Bisexuality Day

To celebrate this day (which conveniently has ‘celebrate’ in the title – I like that), let’s look at a few definitions. This may seem banal and unnecessary to some of my readers, but I also know that at least 80% of you may be slightly out of touch with all the different types of ‘sexual’ one can be. It’s not that people have changed, we’ve just expanded our vocabulary to try to understand one another a little better.

GLAAD, along with a number of other folks, want to call this Bisexuality+ Day, with the plus sign meant to be more inclusive for the various types of bisexuality on the market. Which one is right for you? Well, here’s the menu:

Bisexuality, which we have all been aware of for decades, is sexual or romantic (or both!) attraction to people of both genders. That’s easy. Growing up, I always thought there were two options: heterosexuality, homosexuality, or this one which encompasses both. Oh, how naïve I was.

Pansexuality, which is different from a fetish for cookware, is an attraction to all gender identities, or at least the potential for such attraction. That’s the bit that bisexuality leaves out; we’re not working with a binary dynamic of he and she anymore. Polysexuality is similar to pansexuality, except there are certain gender designations you just aren’t into. Omnisexuality… that seems to be just another way of saying pansexuality. Then you’ve got the fluid sexuality people, who may pop from hetero to bi to pan throughout their lifetime.

The point is, yesterday was a day to celebrate any and all of the above. And we did. Love is awesome.

National Snack Stick Day

Will it surprise anyone that Klement’s Sausage Company came up with the idea for this one? Well, they don’t sell their particular meat-tubes in our part of the world, but we found something remarkably similar.

I like these things. They make a great snack. Everyone within reach of a place that sells Klement sausages, go buy some as a way of saying thanks for making a kick-ass celebration that requires zero research and almost no writing. Just delicious eating.

Oh, and I forgot to take a picture of the damn snack stick. We have another one downstairs, but I am in no condition to be negotiating stairs right now, so please enjoy the stock photo instead.

On we go, into another day with a sore foot and a battered heart. Did that sound bad-ass? No? Okay, never mind then. Here’s today:

  • National Cherries Jubilee Day. This would have made more sense back when cherries were still in season in this part of the world, n’est-ce pas?
  • National Punctuation Day. I put out a request to my beloved companions for ideas on how to celebrate this one. I might have found one.
  • Festival of Latest Novelties. I didn’t have this one in my original research, so I have no idea what to expect when I dig into it.
  • Kiss Day. We’ve kissed for several celebrations so far this year. Is this the day we rock and roll all night and party every… nah, probably not.
  • Lash Stylists Day. I know one of those! I’ll give her a plug tomorrow.
  • National Bluebird of Happiness Day. Well that’s a joyous little entry.

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