Friday, January 3, 2020

Day two made us wonder… why are the first two days of this project filled with events that dip us into agony and pain? I guess this is where we prove that we actually plan to follow through with this madness.

National Personal Trainer Awareness Day

Ashlie at GoodLife Fitness in Claireview was fantastic. She had a workout ready for us, one that would test the limits of two fat people who haven’t worked out since the (first) Clinton term. Okay, that may only describe me (Marty), and that may be a mild exaggeration, but damn. We quickly came to realize that the comfy, sedentary lifestyle we’ve been soaking in for the last several years has been counter-productive to good health. This morning, as our muscles (especially Marty’s) are threatening to revolt, that message is even more clear.

This is a busy time for personal trainers, as folks still maintain the sincere belief that this year their resolution of achieving fitness goals will be achieved. But why not? If the two of us could power through this workout yesterday, anyone could do it. You just need an unflinching but kind voice calling out encouragement and keeping a spotlight on the finish line. Ashlie was an awesome voice; we can’t recommend her enough. And having a personal trainer is what can propel a chubby schmuck such as myself off the couch and into a lower waist size. Big thumbs-up (albeit painfully up) for this one.

National Buffet Day

What better way to celebrate a good workout than to pack on all those lost calories and more? Following a brilliant recommendation from Carolyn on our Youtube page, we headed to the Yang Ming buffet in Beverly, less than a 10-minute drive from the gym. It was mostly westernized Chinese food, but really well-made. We sampled a bunch, went back for seconds, and wished we had time to follow it up with a nap.

Buffets are a wonderful thing. You choose your own portions, shoo away those pesky veggies, and you have the potential to make a complete ass of yourself with dessert. It’s a once-in-a-while thing though, unless you also plan to keep up the vigorous workouts. We don’t, at least not for now. Too many new things to celebrate.

National Science Fiction Day

We will be watching a movie tomorrow for JRR Tolkein Day, so instead of parking ourselves in a second viewing of the new Star Wars (and yeah, we liked it, bring on the nerd-rage), we opted to listen to some science fiction music instead. On the drive to the gym it was ambient weirdness from a sci-fi playlist I found on Spotify. Having had enough of that, we switched over to sci-fi-themed rock tunes. Here’s a partial playlist:

  • Elton John- Rocket Man
  • David Bowie – Space Oddity
  • Deodato – Also Sprach Zarathustra
  • Stevie Wonder – Saturn
  • Wings – Venus and Mars
  • R.E.M. – Man On The Moon
  • David Bowie – Starman
  • Moby – We Are All Made of Stars
  • Donald Fagan – I.G.Y.
  • Zager and Evans – In The Year 2525
  • The Byrds – C.T.A. 102

National Cream Puff Day

Cream puffs, also known as profiteroles or chou à la crème (which I think means “cabbage of the cream?”), are fantastic. One can get really fancy with profiteroles, but when one is on a budget (and in a hurry, because one is celebrating too much), the chocolate-covered puffs we grabbed from the Superstore freezer would hit the spot. One holiday season Jodie built a Christmas tree out of cream puffs, drizzling caramelized sugar overtop the glorious stack of pastry and cream. It was magnificent, but not ideal for an otherwise packed day.


As I mentioned yesterday, the origins for this holiday are uncertain; there are a few conflicting stories of how it might have originated. It is an Alemannic holiday which is celebrated in Switzerland and Liechtenstein. It has been celebrated since the 14th century at least, though that was tapered after the Protestant Reformation. A nut feast is part of the festivities though, so we snagged some peanuts off our feed-to-the-squirrel pile and dug in.

Run It Up The Flagpole And See If Anyone Salutes Day

Yesterday was the day to spitball some crazy ideas and see if they can be made real. That literally defines every day of this project, including the six months before it began while we were planning it. Our flagpole is growing weary with run-ups – I think it’s safe to say we celebrated the ever-loving hell out of this one.

National Breast Appreciation Day

Delicious white meat in the ginger chicken at lunch. Also delicious white meat in the bacon-asiago chicken sandwich from Wendy’s at dinner. I have told Jodie numerous times that I appreciate her breasts today, but somehow that has failed to woo her into a romantic haze. Nevertheless, it was also a good time to remind her (and everyone) to take good care of them boobies and check ‘em for lumps. Gotta stay healthy so we all make it to 2021 together.

National Swiss Cheese Day

Swiss cheese is pretty much a North American interpretation of Emmental cheese from Switzerland. The holes in swiss cheese (known as ‘eyes’, because that isn’t at all creepy) come from carbon dioxide bubbles that form when one bacteria eats the lactic acid pooped out by another bacteria, then farts. That’s actually kind of how it happens. Neither of us are big swiss cheese fans, but then we aren’t fans of diving into frigid water either and we did that. So we ate some. It was fine.

Today will feature far less agony in our activities, and far more agony in our recovery from yesterday’s activities.

  • JRR Tolkein Day. I’m not a big fantasy fan – that’s more Jodie’s thing. But neither of us have seen more than the first Lord of the Rings movies, so we’re going to re-watch that one in preparation for getting to the other two over the coming weeks.
  • National Chocolate Covered Cherries Day. We have two kinds of chocolate covered cherry: one from the greatest candy shop in town, and one from the grocery store. We’ll see which we prefer.
  • National Drinking Straw Day. Everything we consume today (the liquids, anyway) will be through a straw. We’ll be using metal straws of course, because even if Alberta straws won’t end up choking out sea turtles, they will be unnecessary trash.
  • Remember, You Will Die Day. What a cheerful notion! Today we will talk bucket lists and death plans – one fun for musing, the other depressing but necessary.
  • Festival of Sleep Day. Sleeping in will be a plus, and an afternoon nap sounds nice. Hell… nice? It’s necessary. Can’t pass up this celebration.
  • National Fruitcake Toss Day. Most people who hate fruitcake but received one for the holidays have probably already tossed theirs in the trash. But there’s a tradition wherein you can just hurl it off into nature – why wouldn’t you do that? We bought a fruitcake just for this.
  • Humiliation Day. Not sure how we’ll celebrate this today. We’ll figure something out.